If people see me in person, they will probably think I'm a Bob. It's Nigel, which is pretty sophisticated in my opinion. I am turning 17 this year, which means I am fast on my way to wrinkles and elasticity-challenged skin. I am going to be walking down the red carpet in ten years time, so fuck those who have doubted me. I aspire to be like Lily Allen, because I think she is the coolest person in the world. Okay, this is getting so draggy. Find out about me on my posts.
Labels: I want something good to happen.
Garh! When you think it couldn't get any worse than this, it does! I woke up with a sore throat and a blocked nose! And then, halfway through the day, I catch a slight fever! God, I am not supposed to live like this! I am gonna die! Sheesh, nothing good is happening! Ugh, now some fucking noisy motorcycle is pounding my head with it's stupid engine screams! There is no saviour, unfortunately, for it is my life, my future, my everything. To think I could handle life by myself, but I can't. I'm far from it. Hope my life is not dreadful till the military apocalypse.
My plans for the book shall be on hold, till I get my appeal results at least. Everyday before that day shall be lived in fear, they shall be lived with worry, fright, sadness, anger, hatred. Besides, I can't sculpture the plot into a solid, foolproof form. I don't wanna make it sound like another Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging. Plus, it don't think I want to make it funny and jolly at all, especially when I can't think of anything but stabbing the Mass Comm lecturers right now.
Currently listening to the Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging OST. Will be giving the other one to Sherina. Looking forward to the movie marathon on Monday. Hopefully I can get well by then. It is cool, cos all three will be free till the parting on March, and I start school on April. Hmph, I don't have a blanky or a Mr. Wha-cha-ma-call-it to hug.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Labels: I can't be happy all the time.
I'm finally back at my computer, not exhausted and ready to rant. First of all, I DIDN'T GET INTO MASS COMMUNICATION! I do not want to be vulgar, but FUCK! What the fuck, the lecturers are so goddamn blind. Vacancies shouldn't have been given to the stupid ugly nerds who probably want to ruin other people's life by going to this course instead of going to prestigious junior colleges like Victoria or Hwa Chong which no one is going to because they only accept people with humongous brains.
Well I'm sooooooooooooooorrrrryyy Singapore, you guys just missed a great opportunity to have great stuff on the red carpet. Hmph. Whatever, good luck with people who will probably fail really terribly and bring your course's downfall to an unrecognizable level. Okay, whatever, I am done with this overrated course. Go suck on those losers!
Just got back from the sleepover cum housewarming. Firstly, we met at CP and we headed to VivoCity to have lunch at Toastbox. We then went to Queensway to buy shoes, but I couldn't find any shoes that were worth looking at. The muah chee there was super cheap, only $1. I also bought one herbal egg, and JiaRui bought 2. After finishing mine, I seriously thought I should have bought 4. Felt like eating eggs right now. Haha. Anyway, we went to JiaHui's place and we walked to coffeeshop to have Botak Jones. Bused back and watched some TV before playing some cards. We then talked and gossiped for a very very very long time. We laughed a lot as well. Fell asleep at around 5am. Woke up at 6.45am and found out our shitty, horrendous, repulsive, disgusting, awful, vomit-inducing posting results, and had breakfast. French fries for breakfast! Went back to sleep until 12.45pm. Left JiaHui's place and headed to Kim's place. Reached the place, and the first thing I did was shower. The bathroom is very cool! Haha! Had pizza and rootbeer. Olivia came, and told JiaHui and I that the appealing is on a first-come-first-serve basis. JiaHui and I practically screamed when we heard it. JiaHui even teared a little. Used Oliva's lappy to appeal, after a terrible ordeal with the Internet connection. Appealed for film, Sound, and Video as my 1st choice, Interior Design as my 2nd, and Integrated Management(I totally forgot what it is called.) as my 3rd.
Went home after that. Feel alseep on the couch from 9pm to 11pm. Watched L Changes The World. I realized the Dr. Kujo is Pumpkin in Memoirs of a Geisha. Anyway, the movie was awesome! Haha, kinda old already, but it was very touching.
Very bad things have been happening to me. The ability to forget them and the be happy is getting tougher and tougher by the day.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Labels: I want my money back.
WHAT. THE. FUCKING. HELL.
This Chinese New Year is making me fucking broke! I lost all the money everyone else gave me for gambling plus my own money! Now, I am left with $10 dollars! This is fucked up! Maybe I shouldn't have said 'shut up'' while praying on Chinese New Year's Eve. And I wasn't even playing with big money. I played with 50 cents! I lost a total of $50+!
Okay, I have been making plans to kill time during the holidays. I have decided to write a book! It should be a book about me, or at least someone angsty. So, I have come up with a few titles for it.
1) Confessions of the Angst-ridden Teenager searching for Unangstification.
2) Life and Times of the Hot-Headed Meatsack
3) Warning: Angst Grenade!
I shall start tomorrow. If Stephenie Meyer can come up with Twilight in her sub-conscious state, imagine the wonders I can do while I am fully conscious.
Goodbye.
Monday, January 26, 2009
WHAT. THE. HELL.
It has been a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very, very very very cashless Chinese New Year. Firstly, I lost 3/4 of my savings on blackjack. Today was not my day, even though I did get a blackjack while being the banker. Now I'm left with $15 to pay Kim for the OST. And when everyone are showering themselves with red packets, I have none. And you know why? Cos a bunch of evil people took all of them away, using them for unknown yet unreasonable purposes. Ya, I need money to survive. Materialistic 101 people, I become very mean when people take away my money, especially when my last source of money is being taken away. How am I gonna live now? Okay, people such as the infamous 'Passer-by' is gonna say that I am a greedy pig or something, but it is true. We can't live without money, and money does buy happiness. Like hello, no one makes people happy by saying, "Your life is filled with peace, harmony, and love!"
Like what's wrong with 2009? I wish everyone to get truckloads of cash and all I get are truckloads of angst and ginormous holes in my wallet. And it is not like I spend all my money in a day. If I did, I wouldn't be using my own money for outings. They actually think $10 is enough for a day's outing? Sheesh, what I would do to make Donald Trump my uncle.
Gonna try to win my money back tomorrow, part of it at least.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Labels: The new year spells CASH.
Labels: I take off my clothes and it will be shameless/ Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous
Labels: Inauguration and sotong.
Labels: Balls.
Labels: 8am.
Labels: In The La La Land Machine
Labels: Poly.
Labels: Help me.
Labels: I'm freaking out.
Labels: 21 is a fucked up shitty number.
Labels: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Labels: Pre-results blues
Labels: It draws closer.
The Fear by Lily Allen
I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don't care about clever I don't care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them
And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous
I'll look at The Sun and I'll look in The Mirror
I'm on the right track yeah I'm onto a winner
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
Cause I'm being taken over by The Fear
Life's about film stars and less about mothers
It's all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn't matter cause I'm packing plastic
And that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic
And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it's not my fault it's how I'm programmed to function
I'll look at The Sun and I'll look in The Mirror
I'm on the right track yeah we're onto a winner
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
Cause I'm being taken over by the fear
Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I'm killing them all on my own little mission
Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner
Now everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner
I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
Cause I'm being taken over by the fear
Happy Chinese New Year!
Had a great steamboat dinner just now! I finally got to eat SOTONG! Anyway, I am so psyched about tomorrow! Blackjack! I don't know why gambling is addictive, cos I have managed to maintain an annual blackjack session. Yes, annual. Once a year only, on Chinese New Year.
I had a lot of trouble sending my well wishes just now. I had to send a gazillion times before they were all successfully sent. Of all replies, I found one very very amusing. YIHAO REPLIED ME! I couldn't stop laughing when he replied.
I finally bought the shirt I have been eyeiung for a week. It is yellow, second one in my wardrobe. I have a lot of clothes which makes look like a dark stormy cloud. I am gonna wear it tomorrow to my aunt's place. I am also going to wear the pair of shoes I bought at River Island. It has been difficult resisting it's checkered goodness. Haha.
Going to turn in now. Bye!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wow, time flies really fast. Tomorrow shall be Chinese New Year's Eve, which only spells one word - STEAMBOAT! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I haven't had a steamboat dinner since Christmas. Feeling so excited! My efforts of finding chicken satay will not go down the drain!
Anyway, yesterday's post was really really short. That's cos I was super duper exhausted. Right after my post, I dropped dead on the exercise mattress and fell asleep. Woke up at like 12 midnight, and followed my usual gaming routine. Slept at 4 plus cos I wanted to watch the Rachael Ray Show. Her show has become my top few favourite talk shows! Like, who doesn't like a talk show with food in every episode? The mac and cheese looked awesome!
Woke up today at like 11am. Went back to sleep and woke up at 11.45am. Went back to sleep and woke up at 12.30pm. Totally couldn't open my eyes. It was the hardest journey to the coffeeshop ever. It's like, walking up 4 storeys to your classroom after mugging till 4am. The feeling is terrible. I sat onto the chair at the coffeeshop as if like I was paraplegic. Ate chicken rice. Kinda getting sou with the chicken rice uncle, cos he knew I was gonna get another plate of rice.
Currently listening to The Fear by Lily Allen. Really hooked onto this song, and the lyrics are awesome. Will change my song soon. Bye!
P.S.: Thanks JiaHui for sending me the song! :]
I am like so fucking exhausted right now. Oh gosh, I am practically typing with rock hands. Must be drained from playing pool and cursing at balls that just didn't wanna get into the hole. My mum has been so busy lately I can't go out at all. My OST and shirt hasn't been bought yet! Hmph. But still, I am looking forward to the steamboat on Sunday, which will have SQUID!
Feeling more tired thinking. Goodbye.
By the way, today's outing was fun. :]
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Just back from AMK Hub. Went for late night shopping with my parents for the steamboat on Sunday. Bought quite a lot of stuff. I think the people from Fairprice, and other shoppers, hate me, A LOT! I am the very 'auntie' guy rumaging through all the stuff to get the best among the stack. For example, I was supposed to get a box of shrimp wontons, and I wanted to get the coldest one. So, I dug through to the bottom to get the bottomost box. Also, I wanted to get some pan-fried satay, but there were a lot of beef and mutton ones. So, I rummaged through everything to get some chicken ones. By the time, I got 2 packets, the beef and mutton ones were scattered everywhere. LOL.
Shall go try playing the stupid Petals Around the Rose. I can't stop doing it. :[
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Oh my god, today was a freaking tiring day. Went back to school to help out with the CNY deco again. It was better than yesterday, though my spiky ball has been mutilated to a PINEAPPLE! That bitch ain't even the head. SHE IS ONLY IN CHARGE OF THE BALLS! Whatever, I know deep down inside spiky balls owns smooth ones.
Anyway, inauguration is today! Well, I am not that psyched about it, though it does sound very grand. Today has been pretty tiring for me, partly cos I slept at 3am and woke up at 10am. 7 hours, not enough for this sloth. I got very hungry today. In fact, I am very very very hungry right now. I am craving for Old Chang Kee's spring'0-s, maybe cos it was hot when I bought them today. Also craving for porridge, shark's fin dong fen, and kway chap. Oh, and most importantly, SOTONG! Oh my god, I haven't ate sotong since the last class outing. I am making myself hungry. GARH!
Shall go cold turkey for a while. Bye!
I am very very very pissed off right now. And it's cos of the mutilation of our spiky balls, it is cos of the freaking sleepover. Like seriously, I am confirming with everyone, but no one is replying. It is the least you guys can do. It is like only 2 weeks away from school, but you guys still don't wanna spend the last few days together as a clique. And the worst thing is that it is on Thursday, and it is already Tuesday. I really feel like tearing my hair out waiting for a reply. I am running out of patience.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I'm way behind my Mapling schedule, cos I had to do something - doing my brother's Art homework. It is not that he forced me to do it, it is just that I can't let him, and his group have Art perish under their hands. What is worse than a bunch of 13 year old boys who smell like blue cheese? Their artwork, that looks like blue cheese. -.- Fine, they don't appreciate Art, but it doesn't mean they should draw terribly, like YiHao. LOL.
Anyway, I went back to school today with Olivia, MeiJun, Cherie, and HuiJing to help Mr. Tien's class with their CNY deco. One word to describe their class spirit - stinky. It is like they don't even wanna win. Anyway, I was really proud of my first lantern I made single-handedly, or shall we call it, ball. It is spiky. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the bitch, or I like to call, bossy balls (Main topic of the day were 'balls', or ya...) wanted ROUND BALLS! So, she took the balls MeiJun and I made home to make them ROUND! I am imagining how my spiky balls are being mutilated by her freaking hands. Too bad it is not my class anymore, or I would have slapped her long ago. Tomorrow, I shall return to that hellish classroom to look at what that bitch has turned my ball into. *sobs*
Gonna go blogsurf now. Goodbye!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Just woke up. Initially, I thought it was around 12 noon, and I would have to rush to get ready for school.(No, I ain't retarded. I am going to school for a specific reason only.) But after 30 seconds of convincing myself to get my ass off the bed, I went to check the clock, and I was so damn surprised!
IT IS ONLY 8AM!!!
This is the first time I woke up by myself this early since the holidays started. I feel so accomplished. Anyway, this means I can have another meal before lunch! Yay! Fine, I am a glutton!
Gonna go Maple now. Bye!
Life has been rather laid back lately, and it feels good, even if I will be putting on gallons of fat. It feels nice, having to be in one's own comfort zone. This lifestyle, I can totally adapt to. Sometimes, I really think was once a sloth. But anyway, my preeeeeecioussssssssssssssssssss(PS2) have been keeping me amused at home, bringing me more surprises everyday.
Oh well, nothing to talk about anymore. Goodbye.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
La La Land - Demi Lovato
Feeling rather happy with myself today. Though it may not seem like much, cos everything is but a bunch of data and textiles, I did a few good deeds in the online world today. Actually, I have been doing a few good deeds in MapleStory. There was a person who was in need of 1k, and he pleaded to me to give him some money. Without hesitance, I gave him the 1k, without expecting anything in return. But he said something which was more than satisfying - "You are very cool". It may not seem much to others, but it gave me a rush of happiness in me.
Another time, someone needed some blue potions, and pleaded to the person beside him. The person ignored him. I had 5 of them in my inventory at the moment, all of which I found. So, I gave him all 5. He said a simple 'ty', but it did a great effect on my luck the rest of the day. I got 5 red books.
Hmm, shall go play now. Bye.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Okay, I just submitted my JAE crap.
1st choice: Mass Communication*cross fingers*
2nd choice: Creative Writing for Television and New Media(New)
3rd choice: Apparel Design and Merchandising
LianZhi just came to my place to print the thingy. Played a little bit of Persona. LOL.~~~~~~~~~ Anyway, I went out with the clique yesterday. It was fun! Haha! I met Olivia at Serangoon Station, and we trained to Compass for lunch with Pearl, Jolyn, JiaHui and JiaRui, but it turns out only Pearl and I are the only ones who haven't ate. We settled down at KFC, totally reminds me of JiaHui's story. After that, we went to Far East Plaza. Shopped a little. Feeling a little bored, and hungry, I went to find food with JiaRui. Ate Chippy's B.B.F, and the freaking vinegar totally stank up my hand. Searched high and low, and finally found the others. Olivia, JiaRui, and I decided to go play pool, since Jolyn had to leave early. Pool was fun, though I hardly touched the ball sometimes, LOL. Played quite a number of rounds. Met Pearl and JiaHui at Dhoby Ghaut Station. Went to Buangkok Station, and walked to JiaRui's house. That walk was the funniest walk I ever had, especially up the stairs, to the 4th storey. We weren't exhausted because of the climbing, but we were tired because of our non-stop laughing. Laughed a lot again at JiaRui's place, and we met Jon and Ms Ng at the nearby coffeeshop. Talked till 11pm, and took 147 home with JiaHui. Had a very fun time yesterday! Bye!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I think I am the only one who hasn't submitted the JAE crap, and I had no idea it was already the 15th. I don't know whether should I submit now or submit tomorrow, cos my dad is alseep and it is kinda weird to submit it alone, and at such a timing.
I am still feeling pretty down about the whole crappy thing. I don't know, people are telling me to put it behind me. But I should be sad, and it would mean I do care about it. But the two beasts tell me that I am not sad enough. Well, how should I feel? I know I should feel sad, but it doesn't mean I have to. Do I have to prove that I am sad? Like, how can people do that? The degree of sadness, it is hard to define. Must I stand on the edge of the building to prove it? I have cried enough, and I have mourned enough about it. I can't do anything to change it. But if I could, I would be doing whatever it takes right now.
January 2009, bad bad month. One bad thing happens after another, and it is getting worse. First of all, I had an annoying ulcer on my slimy tongue, which recovered today. Next, my results were horrible beyond the valley of loserville.(My favourite number has turned into my most hated number, ever.) And worst of all, I woke up this morning with a goddamn fucking stiff neck! It is bloody killing me! It hurts so much half of my body is half paralyzed, and I'm not exaggerating. My left hand can't move as fast as before. And it feels numb when I strain it. What the hell did I do to deserve this!?
Anyway, this blog is going to be retired soon. I'm gonna start anew with another blog. Haven't found the skin yet, but I will change soon. I'm leaving all the animosity and sadness sealed in this online diary of mine, and start happy and crazy. Anyway, I have chose Mass Communication as my first choice. If I managed to get in, I will be exhilarated, even though my results were crappy beyond the valley of crappyville.
Goodbye.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Okay, so what I predicted was quite close to the real thing. I know, I should be very angry and disappointed at myself, and I am. 2008 was a bad year from the start. I don't know, last year was a rather unlucky year for me, now that I think about it. In all aspects, I seem to have failed terribly. Anyway, rock bottom feels, well, painfully bad. Excruciating, achingly, searing, however you may describe it. But whatever it is, it was self-inflicted. Wasting time on things that don't even matter to me now, they were wrong choices. If I had a chance to change everything, I would. In fact, everything started on that very day, the day life turned bleak for me. I just realize the life I have led was wrong form the start. I can't work with neanderthals at home. I can't work with all the piercing noise from the neanderthals at home. I should have lived alone, like the Japanese people. It seemed so nice. Moreover, I can have sleepovers whenever I want.
Anyway, they were disppointed with me too, but I don't care how they think. But what pisses me off is their ancient way of thinking. If I do not get admitted into a junior college, it would mean to them that it will be collecting trash for the rest of my life. Anyway, I have decided that I wanna get into a polytechnic. I don't know, it seems enticing, especially the extended holidays. Plus, I don't need to take up so many subjects that I hate. The only subjects that seem to appeal to me in a JC is English, ... and English Literature. Ya, what's the point of entering anyway? In a ploytechnic, at least I can actually like whatever shit I am studying. Okay, he just said Apparel Design sucks cos male designers are stereotyped as gays. WHATEVER!
I am going into a polytechnic, and I don't care.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Okay, so I am less than 24 hours to getting that death note. I am so freaking out! I know, I have been freaking out a lot cos of the results, but I just can't help it! I wanna redo the exams again! I know my results will be shitty, partly cos I know I didn't give my all for the exams. I should, but I didn't. Can't change it now. Also, very bad things have been happening to me. I am feeling so frustrated and annoyed now, mainly cos of dumb, dumber, and dumbest in the house. they drive me nuts! Gosh, if only I get to be in one of those 'trading places' reality show, it would be so nice.
I just bought my can of hairspray. It looks cool. Anyway, my body is so exhausted by all the tense nerves that I don't have any energy to do anything right now. I'm practically typing with hands tied to an elephant.
Miracles don't always happen, but one must happen tomorrow! My life depends on it! If I don't have good score tomorrow, I will seriously fall into a permanent state of depression. All these nervousness is draining my life source, and I feel like I am gonna collapse any minute. Seriously, I am feeling exhausted.
I will have a pretty low expectation of myself. It is good either way - I won't get too upset if I didn't do well, and I will be extra happy if I do well.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Oh bloody hell. Tomorrow is the big day! I am so freaking out! I wanna go back to November 14, and relive my holidays again. I wasted so many days away from the computer, as if I have been cut out from the world.
Feeling very very very annoyed and moody now. Retards are surrounding me now. Goodbye.
As the day draws closer, I get more nervous. And that is putting it in a calm way. I'm bloody freaking out! I didn't realize I cared that much about my results till now! I am so scared! I keep bombarding myself with questions abou the future, and I don't feel great at all. Like, if you don't get a single digit on that paper, your life in the country is practically over. I am totally gonna jump out of my bed on Monday. I'm so freaked out. Oh ya, and there is that stupid chore of returning your hair to its original colour. My hair isn't black, it's very very very dark brown. Plus, why should we follow the dress code? It is not like we are still part of that loony bin you call a school. And we didn't want to wear the school uniform, we were forced to. So all this is absolute insanity! If I were that old geezer, I would make style top priority in school! That way, the whole school probably won't hate Mr. Goh that much, and the establishment would be free of all the tension. Anyway, my heart is racing at top speed. I will probably faint on my way to get that piece of death note.
I have ulcer on my tongue right now. Is that a sign? I don't know. I am feeling so freaked out now paranoia levels are over the roof. I am so freaked out! In fact, I'm so freaked out I didn't feel hungry today at all! I wish I could travel back in time to when I first stepped out of the car to wait for Cherie and Jane at the 7-11 store. I will give that Nigel the question papers to the exams. Also, I will tell him refrain from eating porridge and listen in class, oh and that he is gonna drop Geography and not Combined Humanities.
I am gonna predict my L1R5:
English - B4
Chinese - B4(not a prediction :[ )
E.Maths - A2
A.Maths - B3
Chemistry - A2
Biology - C5
Combined Humanities - C6(fuck History.)
L1R5: 21
WHAT THE FUCK! Oh shit! It's my first time predicting and this is the shit I get! Oh fucking shit! Oh my god! This is a calamity, of cataclysmic proportions! This is bad, very bad! I can't even get into SRJC with this shitty grade! This is a terrible omen!
Friday, January 9, 2009
I had a lot of fun today! In the morning, I went out with Kim, Olivia, Pearl, JiaHui, and Jolyn to VivoCity today. Had brunch at the Kopitiam, and I shared kway chap with Pearl. It was only average, cos the portion of meat was fit for a mouse. Anyway, we started the shopping at Esprit. Everything there was expensive, and the designs were common and average. Then, we went to TopShop. The clothes there were not bad, but none appealed to me strongly. We then went to Forever 21. Since it an all-girl store, I didn't do much there, cept for admiring the scarves with Kim and Olivia. After that, we went to Pull and Bear. The shoes were really nice there, but I didn't any.
Finally, we went to River Island. I really liked a pair of shoes and it was on sale! It costed only $35! Oh my god, it is so nice it is indescribable! Okay, they aren't that perfect, but I still think the design is awesome beyond awesomeville. Anyway, I tried on the 7, but it was a little too big. So, I tried on a 6, of another design, but I couldn't fit. -.- Thus, I got the 7! Yay! I should buy a belt from there. They look really chic and cool. We spent a lot of time at River Island before heading to other shops.
Later, I bought a shirt from Bossini. It is the first long-sleeved shirt in my wardrobe! Can you believe that? Like, I may buy lots of clothes, but I don't have a long-sleeved shirt till now. And this is shocking but, I do not own a pair of jeans! I just don't like the feeling. It has no elasticity at all, but it is the basic pair of pants humans should own.
Went to SuntecCity after that. Walked for a very long time. My heels were killing me. It was as if it is being squished(fine so it is!). Walked JiaHui to her workplace. Walked to MyPlayground. It was utterly ulu there! Anyway, we walked more, and JiaHui finally had her break. We ate at Anime Oasis Cafe. My Aglio Olio was freaking spicy! I also had a mixed berries smoothie. It was okay, compared to the others' iced latte.
Walked JiaHui back to her place, and we continued walking, and walking. After that, we went home and blah blah blah. Very tired now.
I am getting very nervous about Monday! I don't know why either. I am just so scared I am in a very low position in class, and I can't catch up to the others. It's jealousy, mainly. It is just my nature, can't blame anyone but myself. Also, people are having dreams about the results! I just get dreams about having a tiff with that person. -.-
Oh well, shall go Maple now. Bye!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
So the official day is the 12th, which is next Monday. Although I don't care a lot about my future, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am fucking freaking out here! I am really scared that my score is so low I can't even get into a JC. I really do not want to get into ITE. Anyway, I know I can't chnage my fate now, but it is like opening a present and you are thinking if the gift inside is a prank or a DS, but much more important. I do not want to be the laugh of the class. I want to feel happy for CNY. I wanna be happy for everything else till the term starts.
I'm FREEEEEEEEEEAKING OUUUUUT!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I am feeling rather puzzled right now. I dont know whether should I sit on the couch and worry about my upcoming results or continue gaming like there is no tomorrow. Olivia invited me to visit some JCs with them. I feel wierd. I am afraid of knowing what lies ahead. I am afraid of entering a world so far away from my comfort zone. I am afraid of stepping into another world.
I still remember the first few days of 2007. Being in such a new environment, I fell into deep depression. I was fatigued easily, and I slept as early as 10pm. I fell asleep very easily in class as well. I hated the way everyone stared at me like I was some kind of alien. I hated the way people couldn't accept me as a human-being. It was hard.
Hello, I am currently taking a break from Mapling, not because I pay attention to the messenges to take a break from Mapling. Anyway, I seriously wanna hang out. I am so used to going out last week, I'm practically craving for it this week. Hmm, I guess it is up to me again to plan the outings.
You know, celebrities pursue acting and singing cos it is their passion. But it is not just that to me. I wanna be an actor for a lot more reasons, and passion ain't the main one. According to all the Tarot cards and stuff, I belong to the Hierophant Arcana, and that means that the two words that embody things that may be a part of me are 'Drama', and 'Hell''. Quite true in a way, especially the first one. It also means that I should get along well with people like Ben Affleck, Lindsay Lohan, Robert De Niro, George Bush, Jessica Alba, and Michella Yeoh. LOL. Anyway, another reason for me wanting to be an actor, is cos of the money, and fame. Seriously, who doesn't want money, cept for monks? With money, I can finally get my dream beachhouse, with 10 bedrooms! Also, with money, I can finally go to Hokkaido. Also, with money, I can hang with everyone and do stuff we never could as a teen, like hanging out at a private resort! Next on the list, I wanna prove to everyone who has doubted me before that I can be cut out for success. Like, seriously, people think that if they can't do it, I can't. Fine, I am at a very diferent acdemic level compared to you guys, but that doesn't mean I will be cleaning toilets for a living. 'Wake up from your dream', 'Stop dreaming', 'Don't think too much', whatever. You can't stop me!
I guess I have a lot more reasons, but my mood suddenly turned bad. Goodbye.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I have been trying my best to live in denial, to live in denial that it is a new year, a new month, and that a colossal change is going to take place very soon in my life. I know, I am not going to be the only one facing this new face, breathing this new air, walking this new field. In fact, everyone beside me is going to. But it still does not help much thinking from that aspect. Even if this is a change for everyone, our paths are not the same. Our paths had crossed one another's, and we had met along the way, but the road is separating again. We will not know when our paths will cross one another's again, and sometimes, it is horrifying. I have been living in denial that my life can be altered by a simple piece of paper, a simple number.
After pushing everything aside, I have no strength to push, for it gets stronger each day. I always thought I will never be discouraged by it, but now, it is already taking effect. I am scared, I am horrified, I don't want my future to be in rock-bottom. Not even hope can save me now. No one can. I, myself, can't. It has been decided. My chances of success is small, miniscule, puny. I can't think positively for this. No matter how much I wanted to, I can't. If my future is to be bad, it would mean my path will be cut. I will have nowhere to go, my life will be ruined, forever.
My holidays are ending soon. I will be facing new things, bad or good I don't know.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Today was another day of hardcore gaming. People ain't updating their blogs, and my blog seems dead, though I'm still yapping here. No one has come here since Passer-by came. I am still keen on the chalet idea, cos our clique never did it before, mostly because we are broke most of the time. Imagine, just the 8 of us, it would be so fun. Barbequeing till the night ends, chatting till sunrise, under one roof! Not to be rude, but I am awaiting the day Pearl and JiaHui quit their jobs. Like, it ain't fun figuring out dates to have outings. Moreover, this is the holidays! No one should be working during the holidays! It's almost a crime!
I am also looking for people to watch the Thong movie with me. Although it will the 4th time I am watching it, it don't give a freaking damn! Anyway, I also find that there any good songs on the air recently. I am not a fan of rap and rock, so my choices might be slightly limited.
I haven't went on in 3 days, and it is killing me! I gotta get outta the neighbourhood! I wanna go eat Chippy's calamari and B.B.F.. School is starting soon, and my freedom is ending. This really sucks. I have gotten so used to my current lifestyle, as a sloth. People might think my brain is rotting by the second, but that's not the case at all. I mean, the games I play do require a lot of thinking. And one of them is surprisingly Pokemon. Seriously, you need to device a plan to get the perfect Pokemon, and you need to get it in shape. It ain't just hardcore brain-rotting gamage. It is a strategic game. Also, I have been playing Persona 3 lately, and the graphics are spectacular! Kingdom Hearts Re:CoM is coming soon to America, and it is in complete English! Very psyched about it! Anyway, I do not want to get back into that old boring life of muggage and tests. Now those are brain-rotting. I know, I am a lazy ass, but I just don't wanna study! Who came up with studying anyway?
I feel like buying a set of Tarot cards. They look so cool. I may have got that liking from Persona 3, but it really looks cool. There are 56 cards, and 22 Major cards. The one I like most is the Fool Arcana. I am crazy, but it is true! The cards look so cool!
This may sound so wannabe-ish, but I must master the Bri'ish accent. It sounds so cool! Fine, I fell in love with it in the Thongs movie. It is so, hmm, uh, er, snog-inducing! It sounds really hot! Plus, if you know how to talk like that, you are practically a level higher than everyone else, in a way. It is classy, and people really admire that trait. But it has to sound natural, or it just sounds like you are just another fake, like some people I know.
Hmm, this post is rather long. Gonna go now. Bye! :]
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Okay, it suddenly dawned on me that my life is really empty. I did try to make it meaningful, organising outings, going out on outings, but seriously, it ain't enough. But, I know the thing I want to do to make my life interesting - booking a chalet. But I'm broke! I'm left with $30, and they are used to pay my debts. Grrrr. It is not like I can have money from CNY, cos it would be too late by then. Hmph. Life is boring.
If anyone from the clique wants to book a chalet, call me!
Hey all! I am currently using my new computer! It feels so new! And it has that new computer smell! LOL. Not quite used to the keyboard yet though, cos I have always been using the keyboard with the chunky buttons. Anyway, I will be looking forward to playing Maple, with minimal lagging! Yay!
But the computer did bring me much rage today. I was playing Persona 3 on my PS2 when my dad accidentally turned off the power to the TV.(I didn't save my game. :[) It was because my brother caused the computer to go haywire by turning off the computer when it was downloading Maple. I was so pissed just now, they are lucky there were no sharp objects in the room. Anyway, the monitor is goddamn wide! And the CPU, monitor, and keyboard amounted to only $799! What a steal!
Gonna go re-train my Personas. Friggin' at them now, feel like buying a bunch of throwing knives right now! Well, I always wanted a set of throwing knives. It looks so cool to hurl them at the spinning board. You can see the knife spinning, the edge leaving a swift circular line behind it.
Adieu.
Friday, January 2, 2009
I am so refreshed right now. Today was the gift exchange cum badminton outing. I had a lot of fun. Too bad JiaHui wasn't there, or else we would have cam-whored. I woke up like when my brother was leaving for school, which was around 7am, in the morning. I haven't woke up that early since I went to Kukup. Anyway, I thought I would be late, so I rushed and surprisingly, I got ready by 8am(We were supposed to meet at 8.45am.) So, I went to Compass Point and ate my Sausage McMuffin with egg. I have no idea why, but I find MacDonald hash-browns like the best in the world. Anyway, I finished my breakfast at 8.30. -.- Went to Anchorvale Sports and Recreation Centre. I was punctual! I was the first to arrive, again.
Pearl came shortly. JiaRui and JiaJia came up from swimming. Kim came. Jolyn came after that. We saw Jane and TeeKuen there! Went up to the court. Exchanged the gifts. It was rather funny. LOL. Anyway, thanks JiaJia for the frame! :] Played badminton. Kim and I never made it to our goal - 8. We only made it to 4. Anyway, we sorta chatted more than we played. Left the court at 11am. Went to Compass to have something to eat. Met LX and clique. Ernest's hair was cool, but I think my mum would chase me with a chopper if I had that colour. By the way, my next hair colour would be a very dark turquoise.(Toradora!) Went down to get my dong fen, but they don't sell it anymore! That sucks a lot. Went home after that. Had more lunch and slept until 8pm. I went to the Borshch Steakhouse today! I love the Shashlik of Chicken!
Next next Monday I would be joining Sherina and the guys for a movie marathon! Whoo!
Anyway, people may think I am way over-sensitive, which I am, but I am really pissed with something. Like, our clique, which is obviously the best clique ever, have such a fulfilling time together, cos we do all kinds of stuff together, from cooking to sports. Some others only know how to do one kind of thing. And now, they decided to follow us. Like, eew? Stop ruining our uniqueness and innovation. Get your own things to do, and stop following us. Get a freaking life! But, I do now they are just jealous. Can't blame them.(Just trying to make myself feel better.)
Goodbye.