Hmmm, the day started out happy, with JiaHui telling me that Ernest adn the others are coming over. At least the house won't be as boring as always. But now, mind is now is filled with mixed feelings, and I am constantly bombarding my train of thoughts with my passengers of thoughts, thoughts that contradict each other. Right now, my mind is in a swirl, yet no one can help me. No one can help me, that's a fact, as people can only hurt me more and more.
People only remember the things you have done to hurt them, throwing away all the things you have done for them. Some say I do that, but don't everyone? Everyone around me does, at least. As I slowly ebb away from hatred, it brings itself to the others around me. Sorry, this word is no longer a word for apology, a word for displaying your remorse. It is a word to make others forget what misdeeds you have done. Whatever.
As more people become fond of you, your confidence and arrogance gets fueled. To many others, being liked is an honour. But it is just another burden to the lucky ones. Humans, their mind is just to complexed to be fully comprehended. The human mind is too harmful, for they throw words, swords, all the same. It does not take any life out of you to be liked. It is the way of nature, and all mortals should accept that.
People hurt me without even a proper reason, and most hurtfully, without any hesitance. People hurt me because I unknowingly hurt them, when they think an apology isn't enough. They wait, they wait till their hatred is fully fueled, and they strike you with words so harsh you can't even open your mouth anymore. People hurt me because, because they feel like it, since they think I won't bear to do anything about it, for they are my friends. They then savor their champagne, so tainted with guilty pleasure and regret.
